It was after sunset when we drove through Laguna Niguel.
Neon lights illuminated the darkening streets as the sun dipped into the Pacific. I looked out the window, watching the waves crash against the rocks. We drove past a Starbucks and for a moment, his face was illuminated in sickly green. Then, the car grew dark again.
“So.” I said flatly, unsure of how to break the silence in the car.
He drove over uneven pavement.
Ka-thump.
“Uh, yeah,” he said, not taking his eyes off the road. His face was shielded by his curly blonde hair.
“Well, we…” I started to say, but trailed off.
“What?”
“It’s nothing.”
He sighed and slammed his hands loudly on the steering wheel. Scared, I jolted at the sudden noise.
“It’s not nothing,” he says, his breathing strained as he tries to maintain his composure. I can tell his teeth are clenched.
“Fine, then it’s not.” I say, looking back out the car window.
A loud group of people passes on the sidewalk. They look toward the ocean as the last rays of sunlight gleam from the Pacific. They look happy.
He groans, but doesn’t say anything else. I follow suit.
I give one last look out the window. The waves are now inky black and the sun has dipped beneath the horizon. I can hardly make out the rocks from the water. Everything looks like a dark glob, like someone spilled ink all over the ocean. The sky is an indigo, faint starlight flittering in now that the sun has gone.
The car suddenly comes to a stop, flinging me forward and back into the seat abruptly. My face is red in the crimson glow of the stoplight. I sigh, relieved.
I catch him looking at me, his eyes piercing into my cheek. I don’t return the gesture. I just look at the art gallery to my immediate right, wondering what lies within its darkened windows. He sighs and gently touches my shoulder.
“Honey.” he says softly, but a sudden green glow from the traffic light cuts him off.
The car jolts back to life and it is back to bumping and rocking along the Pacific Coast Highway.
The Santa Anas rock the car. I sniffle a bit and continue to look out the window, my eyes glazed.
“I love you, baby.” he says after a while.
A staccato beat.
“I love you too.”
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